Marriage - Cousin Style

Now before we get too deep into this subject. I have absolutely no intentions in marrying any cousin be it first, second or third or first cousins once or twice removed. If you don't know the levels, more on this shortly. Many years ago, I used to make crude jokes about people from Arkansas and other southern states marrying their cousins. Because those of you know who have read my blogs or know me, know that I have no love for the south. I still blame them for much of the grief in this country dating back to the secession from the motherland. I did some research and was amazed by the things I learned about marriage, our country, our states' laws and feelings about marriage between blood relatives. I was quite unimpressed and underwhelmed. And of course anybody who is a fan of Game of Thrones knows about the incestuous marriages among some of the families in that fictitious world. That brought me to seek out more information about our real world. I don't know why. It was something to write about tonight.

First things first. First cousins are related through a direct bloodline. For instance, two sisters give birth to a child. My mother gave birth to me and her sister, my aunt, gave birth to a female cousin. Me and my female cousin are first cousins. We grow up. My female cousin gives birth to children. My wife gives birth to children. Those children are second cousins. My relationship to my cousin's children is first-cousin-once-removed. Those second cousins grow up and they have children of their own. Those children are third cousins. My relationship to those children is they're my first-cousins-twice-removed. Confused? Good. I know I am. How does any of that play on marriage. You'll see.

First, where marriage between siblings are illegal in the USA, first cousin marriage is not illegal in all states. I found an article which I will summarize parts of it here written by Melissa Blevins posted two years ago on a website Today I Found Out titled "The Surprising Truth About Cousins and Marriage". For most of mankind's history, first cousins could marry and beget offspring. It was an accepted practice. Most often by aristocracy to keep the bloodline pure...and creepy. Cousin marriages were forbidden by the Roman Catholic Church about 1,500 years ago. However, Ms. Blevins goes on to state that it "has been popular as long as people have been getting married." And that the world's marriages numbered around 80% between first or second cousins in human history. She states later that globally about 10% of all marriages are between first cousins and as high as 50% in certain parts of the world. Wow.

If the old beliefs concerning birth defects were true, there'd be a lot more mentally and physically challenged people in the world than there are. It is believed today that the old myths are not accurate. The risks are as nearly non-existent between first cousins compared to non-cousin marriages. European first cousin marriages gained acceptance in the 19th century. It was legal in the USA in all states before the Civil War. Also, there were only 33 states at the time. However, by the mid-19th century, the USA fell out of passion for the practice and started to ban first cousin marriages with Kansas being the first in 1858 right up to Texas being the most recent in 2005. The cause for the state by state ban was cited by studies about mental and physical defects. It was determined that first cousin offspring was the root. Only 18 states and D.C. today allow first cousin marriages without restrictions. Another 7 allow it but with some restrictions. That says half of our states allow first cousins to marry. And yet some states still can't wrap their heads around same sex marriages. Thanks to the Supreme Court same sex marriage is legal in all 50 states. 

These are the states that allow first cousin marriages. Is your state one of them?

Allowed without restrictions:

• Alabama
• Alaska
• California
• Colorado
• Connecticut
• District of Columbia
• Florida
• Georgia
• Hawaii
• Maryland
• Massachusetts
• New Jersey
• New Mexico
• New York
• Rhode Island
• South Carolina
• Tennessee
• Vermont
• Virginia

Allowed with restrictions:

• Arizona - provided you can't make babies.
• Illinois - if couple is over 50 y/o or one person is infertile.
• Maine - Proof of Genetic Counseling from a Genetic Counselor [Whatever that means.]
• Minnesota - Only certain types. [Hunh?] (Upon more research, Native Americans (Dakota Sioux, Ojibwe and Chippewa -- the tribes of Minnesota) are immune to this law, if it's part of your culture. Otherwise, all other Americans cannot. So this is sort of a No Go.)
• North Carolina - Double Cousins can't. See below.
• Utah - Only if both parties are 65 or older, or both are 55 or older with a district court finding of infertility of either party. [I don't see too many 55+ people wishing to make babies, do you?]
• Wisconsin - Only if the woman is at least 55, or either is permanently sterile.

There are five states where if you marry a first cousin you can go to jail. 

• Nevada
• North Dakota
• Oklahoma
• South Dakota
• Texas

There are three states that allow with restrictions but if you break these restrictions, go to jail.

• Arizona
• Utah
• Wisconsin

States where you probably could get away with it if you marry in a state where it's legal and then move into this state.

• Arkansas - doesn't want to accept it, but has a precedent in court that allowed it.
• Indiana
• Kansas
• Louisiana
• Michigan
• Nebraska
• Oklahoma
• Washington
• West Virginia
• Wyoming

Interesting enough, my joke about inbred hillbillies from Arkansas would be false and illegal. As stated on this website by another researcher "for all the jokes about the South being the home of family member-on-family member sex... pretty much all of the hippy liberal states are on this list... and the majority of the redneckiest states aren't. So ruminate on that."

Now first-cousins-once-removed: This type of marriage is allowed in all states except 6 (Indiana, Kentucky, Nevada, Ohio, Washington and Wisconsin). Those 6 states are best known for having a really, really big stick collectively shoved up their tight asses. Family-loving hate-mongers.

Another interesting fun fact: The marriage capital of the world, or just the U.S. What happens in Vegas (Nevada) may stay in Vegas (Nevada) provided you don't try to get Elvis to marry you and your cousin or cousin-once-removed.

Cousins-once-removed (defined) - 1. a child of one's first cousin; 2. one's parent's first cousin.

Double cousins (illustrated) - Two brothers, Buck and Bubba meet a pair of sisters, Ellie Mae and Myrtle. They pair off and each couple make a baby. Those babies are double cousins and forbidden to marry in NC. So, Romeo and Juliet (the kids' names), can move to South Carolina. There anything goes.

The rest of the cousin demography is too damn confusing for me to figure out or explain and does not apply to my family paradigm. However, this Wikipedia page does a remarkable job explaining it all. Though I'm still confused.

So second cousins, third cousins, etc. have no problem marrying in any state. Cousins-twice-removed are good to go also. FDR and Eleanor were fifth cousins. However, people still mention it as if it was taboo or strange. There's a stigma concerning family marriages of any kind.

Some famous people who did. 

• Charles Darwin married his first cousin, Emma Wedgwood.
• So did Edgar Allen Poe with Virginia Clemm and H.G. Wells with Isabel Mary Wells. 
• Queen Victoria married her second cousin, Prince Albert. 
• Albert Einstein with his second wife, Elsa. She was a first cousin maternally and a second cousin paternally. 
• Saddam Hussein with Sajida Talfah, first cousins. 
• Christopher Robin Miln (of Winnie the Pooh fame) and his first cousin wife, Leslie.
• Jerry Lee Lewis married his first cousin-once-removed, Myra Gale Brown. 

Everybody's doing it...or did it.

What's stopping me? My first cousins are like sisters to me not just cousins. And as much as I love my sisters and cousins, I don't ever see marriage or the consummation of that marriage ever happening. It's also kind of gross. For them, anyway. For me, it's just weird. First-cousins-removed, I barely know most of them and they are much too young. I also subscribe to the no marriage is a good marriage paradigm. Anyway. I hope you found this interesting. After my first blog posting today, I needed to write something a little light. TTFN.