Snarky Tom's Rants, Raves and Ruminations

This could be a Coronavirus post but it's not really, even though, it is. Sort of. Because we are quarantined, I've been binge watching TV shows that I've always meant to give a chance but have never made the time. Now that we have the time, I've been watching Superstore. It's quirky. It's funny. It's a little bit, well, maybe, more than a little bit obscene. There's swearing albeit bleeped out and pixelated, but I know what they're saying. The current episode I'm watching is Season 4 Episode Major Crimes. In this episode, the manager, Glenn, steps down and the District Manager has hired her son. In the end, Amy played by America Ferrera gets the job because she blackmails the DM who she caught snorting cocaine. But that's not the point I'm about to make. I was thinking a real megastore would not allow the DM to hire a family member for store manager. But then I got to thinking, of course, they could or would. Nepotism started in ret...

I know most of you or at least some of you are really feeling cooped up and are going crazy not being able to leave the house and go to your usual haunts: The Malls, The Bars, The Restaurants, etc. I know how you feel. I miss, well, none of that. I don't have any favorite places that I frequent more than home. I am a firm believer that one should never drink at home and certainly never alone. That's just plain too sad. But I'd like to virtual drink with you today. A subject that has always fascinated me is beer. Many years ago, about 20 - 25 years to be more precise, I was became a hobbyist of zymology. I was a novice zymologist. What is a zymologist? A brewmaster. A brewer. Someone who makes beer. I thought it would be fun. It was, but it was so damn expensive and a lot of work. There are many places you can purchase kits and equipment. The local beer store may carry kits. Even your supermarket may have something like this. The places that you really want to seek ou...

I had mentioned something about this in my post, Hate , but would like to embellish. I despise Toyotas. No, I hate Toyotas. I should clarify. I don't hate the vehicle. I'm presume that it's a well built commodity that everybody seems to own or want to own. And I'm sure it's more than just the very attractive spokesperson, Jan (Laurel Coppock), in the TV commercials. According to  Statista , in 2019, Ford and then Toyota were the most purchased automobile brands in the United States. Laurel Coppock (Jan from Toyota) I'd like to state (without evidence); 1 out of 5 drivers really suck at driving. When I say suck, I mean: They cut off other cars while lane changing,  They don't use turn signals,  They drive past dusk with headlights off, They speed, They tailgate, They run through red traffic lights and stop signs,  They are reckless and erratic, They crash (sometimes into each other, but mostly into other makes and models), They disrupt my life...

This week I lost a cousin from cancer. She was young, 59. I can't say she's my favorite cousin because that would be unfair to all my other cousins. All my cousins are my favorite cousins. Every one of my relatives are precious and essential and are responsible for the person I have become. That may sound like I'm blaming people, I'm not. I'm praising them. My good comes from them. My bad is attributed to the influences and interactions with the evil bastards, mostly strangers, in the world, who have made me the cynical, vengeful and angry old man. But I'm okay with that. I've learned to harvest the best and put my best person forward. Most of the times. Meh! On my mother's side of the family, we have lost seven blood cousins which actually include my two youngest siblings. On my father's side, as far as I know, are all intact. All my Aunts and Uncles on both sides have past accept one Aunt on each side. I have a maternal Uncle (brother-in-law) and...

A Pair of Cute Kittens What makes some cats lap cats and others standoffish? I’ve had cats around me most of my life. As a teen, we had a family cat that would sleep at the bottom of my sleeping bag in the family travel-trailer that my parents purchased and parked in the Poconos. I hate the Poconos. All summer long almost every weekend when I wanted to be down the Jersey shore, we were in the Poconos. Of course, we brought the animals, yes, my younger siblings, but also the cat and dog. I mean, if I had to suffer through the family vacations and weekends, they had to too. As with cats, this one was a female, she went into heat one summer day and her constant howling drove my father crazy. So, he let her loose outside. Of course, she came home pregnant. I can tell you the man didn’t understand birth control. After all he sired five children. This cat later that summer gave birth to a litter of six. We gave Mom and five kittens away and kept the male calico. For those who are unfam...

Okay. A few months ago, I had $100 burning a hole in my pocket more like a-moldering in the bank. I spent it on DNA testing. The results are here . I decided I wanted a second opinion. Yes, like when a doctor tells you you're sick and you ask for a second opinion and then she tells you you're stupid too. That type of second opinion. I found another $100 doing nothing for me, so I put it to work. This time with 23andMe. After several weeks, I have results. I like these results better, like when the "Quack" says there's nothing wrong with you even when limbs are falling off. These results actually make more sense based on what I've learned about my heritage in the past. First, I have no Middle Eastern or Indian (India) blood (DNA). (That doesn't mean if you piss me off that I won't go all Jihad on your ass.) Second, 4% seems a lot of Indian for a very white guy. Lastly, these new results, I believe, state a more accurate, realistic me. I'm 99.9% Eu...

Hello. I’m back. From where? Nowhere, really. I just haven’t been in the mood to rant, rave, entertain or write. Today, I’ll make the exception. I have been very busy. After thirteen years, I sold my house and moved out of Philadelphia to the ‘burbs. I still work in Center City. So, I commute to Philadelphia every day via an hour-long train ride (twice the distance and time as before) and still deal with the same assholishness that is Philadelphia and Philadelphians. As I believe in the scientific principle of magnetism (Opposites attract), I must be a magnet for assholes and shitheads. (Because we know, I’m no asshole.) Unfortunately, I continue to meet up with the like still. Just a new bunch. Suburban assholes. Well, enough about that. I knew with my move and downsizing that I would have to be rid of a lot of excess furniture, etc. And most of my stuff is less than ten years old, good quality and in very good condition. I thought a Yard Sale might bring me a few dollars. I adve...

Well, this is correct, if we are to believe what AncestoryDNA from Ancestory.com's analysis results claim. I'll reveal more shortly. First, I'd like to take you on the journey I took to get to these results. First, I pondered this for over a year. Should I spend the $100, precisely $108.50 to ascertain my heritage. Finally, after a year of deliberation, I decided to bite the bullet. Step One. I went online and ordered my test kit. This was November 12th, 2015. Within two days I received an email alerting me that my kit was on its way. Over the next few days, I checked back via the UPS tracking site. My 0.345 pound package was shipped on November 14th. By November 16th my package was in Philadelphia, where I live. Later that morning it was in Bridgeport, NJ. [Wait. What??] By the afternoon, it was back in Philadelphia. [That's more like it.] By the 17th, it was in The Bronx, NY. [WTF??? How in hell did that happen?] Well, Ancestory.com ships via UPS Mail Innovations ...

Now before we get too deep into this subject. I have absolutely no intentions in marrying any cousin be it first, second or third or first cousins once or twice removed. If you don't know the levels, more on this shortly. Many years ago, I used to make crude jokes about people from Arkansas and other southern states marrying their cousins. Because those of you know who have read my blogs or know me, know that I have no love for the south. I still blame them for much of the grief in this country dating back to the  secession  from the motherland. I did some research and was amazed by the things I learned about marriage, our country, our states' laws and feelings about marriage between blood relatives. I was quite unimpressed and underwhelmed. And of course anybody who is a fan of Game of Thrones knows about the incestuous marriages among some of the families in that fictitious world. That brought me to seek out more information about our real world. I don't ...