Toyotas

I had mentioned something about this in my post, Hate, but would like to embellish. I despise Toyotas. No, I hate Toyotas. I should clarify. I don't hate the vehicle. I'm presume that it's a well built commodity that everybody seems to own or want to own. And I'm sure it's more than just the very attractive spokesperson, Jan (Laurel Coppock), in the TV commercials. According to Statista, in 2019, Ford and then Toyota were the most purchased automobile brands in the United States.

Laurel Coppock (Jan from Toyota)

I'd like to state (without evidence); 1 out of 5 drivers really suck at driving. When I say suck, I mean:

• They cut off other cars while lane changing, 
• They don't use turn signals, 
• They drive past dusk with headlights off,
• They speed,
• They tailgate,
• They run through red traffic lights and stop signs, 
• They are reckless and erratic,
• They crash (sometimes into each other, but mostly into other makes and models),
• They disrupt my life.

The list is not complete, but you get the picture.

Following my theory, let's do some math. If 1 in 5 drivers suck, that would mean Ford and then Toyota drivers would be the most offensive. And yet, my witnessing finds this not to be true.

I drive the Pennsylvania Turnpike about 16 miles each way every weekday. I drive white-knuckled with my heart in my mouth. Figuratively speaking. I actually do not fear death. I will take it when it comes. We're all going to die. No one gets out of this life alive. However, I would not want to be an automotive statistic because of the moronic driving of a fellow turnpike traveler.

On any given day, this is my drive. The turnpike is crowded. We are at a crawl. It is what it is. You grin and bear it. But there's a select few who think they have the right to push their way into spaces between vehicles half their car size because they need to get somewhere and where they've got to be is much, much more important than where you or anyone else has to be. That person making that brilliant attempt would be a Toyota driver. I find that the majority of the Turnpike travelers use their turn signals and give fair warning and enough time and space to make a lane change. Not so the Toyota motorist. They will suicide bomb their way into traffic. I'm not opining as much bearing witness. These are events that have occurred to me and others for I am not the only victim to this rudeness and danger.

Another time the traffic was exceptionally slow. I wagered to no one there that there was an accident. Sure enough, I would have won that bet. Once I got to the place of the incident, one of the vehicles involved was, yes, a Toyota; the other was a GMC pick-up truck. Neither was drivable. Both were on flatbed tow trucks. If only it could have been two Toyotas, then there'd be two less on the road. But they probably, would only go out and buy another. It's perpetual.

I had a nightmare once. I was driving westerly in the center of the three lane Pennsylvania Turnpike. To my left was a RAV4; to my right was a Prius; to the front, a Tundra and behind me a Highlander. I was surrounded. Toyotas everywhere. I was driving flop-sweating. Then the Tundra moved to the right lane (sans turn signal). The RAV4 pulled in front of me in kind. The Prius pulled in behind me and lastly, the Highlander pulled up to the left of me. They continued to circle me like buzzards around a frightened and startled wildebeest.

Every driver on the street not in a Toyota

I whimpered at the four vehicles. "Leave me alone! I'm only trying to get to work!" But alas, this was not to be, yet. I don't know where the music was coming from but I swear I heard singing to the West Side Story song "The Jet Song."

It's Toyota, 

Toyota all the way,

Forever and ever,

until we crash later today,

It's Toyota, 

Wherever we meet,

Until they scrape us

off of the street.

Toyota, Yeah!

Then one of them, possibly the RAV4, but maybe the Prius said to me, "So, little Nissan, where do you think you're going? This is Toyota territory. You're gonna pay." I woke up screaming. Scared the shit out of my cat. I was dreading yet another ride into work. I swear this really happened, maybe.

Even when I'm home and awake, they invade my life. One Saturday morning, I was watching the local news on TV. They were reporting how overnight a car driving too fast missed the turn in a curve and drove into the side of a home's garage. The residents were unharmed. However, their garage was totaled. Their vehicle in the garage may have survived with little to no damage. But while I watched this the camera was shooting a long shot of the vehicle hanging four feet off the ground into the side of the house. My first thought was: It's a Toyota. I can't say I hate it when I'm right, because I don't. I love being right. And I'm right more times than I'm not. The camera man was brave enough to get closer to show the rear-end of the vehicle. And sure enough, this is what I saw:

Toyota insignia. Not the actual offending vehicle

Another inebriated Toyota driver strikes again. I'm sure his vehicle was undrivable. I'm positive after his insurance paid him; he'd be back to buy another.

As I overstated, I've witnessed these acts all too often. And going back to the statistics, you would think that comparatively, I'd see as many Ford as Toyota scofflaws, but I don't. And I do see many Fords on the Turnpike. I can only conclude that Ford drivers are courteous and more careful. Or Toyota has groomed their drivers to think they own not only that Prius, Corolla or Camry, but they own the road too. Another theory is only ASSHOLES buy Toyotas. Thus, the majority of bad drivers (assholes) on the roads are Toyota drivers.

I conclude that for the most part 1 in every 5 drivers are horrible unless you're a Toyota driver, then the ratio is 3 out of 5 drivers who should have their licenses revoked, their cars impounded and put on a strict diet of bread and water. Nothing too harsh, you know.

The Coronavirus has afforded me one thing this last month plus. I don't have to drive the Turnpike and only have to see local Toyotas. And this past Saturday afternoon when I was coming home from the supermarket with my mask on, I witnessed a Toyota running a red light that had clearly been red for a solid 3 seconds. Luckily, the cross traffic had not proceeded forward. Otherwise, it would have been: Accident on York Road. News at 11.

Drive safe. Stay safe. Wear masks and gloves, (if you have them) if you have to go out. And for fux sake, stay away from each other. Until next time, TTFN.