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ALL Reality TV Sucks

Hello, my friends. That's probably the nicest thing you'll read here in this blog today. Let's start with this post's title. You may agree with me. You may strongly disagree with me. I don't care either way. I have to stand up and say something. What the "Frank" is going on with the minds of the American public?

I'm for entertainment. I enjoy the relaxation (most of the times) of television viewing. Lately, I'm finding less to watch. Is it my age? Maybe. Have my tastes change? Not really. Then why is there a lack of programs suitable for my viewing pleasure? Ahhh, there's the rub, Hamlet. 

Reality TV.

It seems you can't switch to a station that doesn't have their version of reality TV. TruTV has a bevy of World's Worse this and that. Not really reality TV and most of the times it is entertaining, but it illustrates and highlights the assholery (My word. Copyright. Copyright. Copyright. Don't try to steal it.) of the people of the world. A&E has Duck Dynasty, Storage Wars and Intervention. Bravo has Real Housewives of {insert metropolitan city}. TLC just airs one freak show after another with Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, Kate Plus 8, 19 Kids & Counting and Little People, Big World. They should change the network's name to The Freak Show Circus. MTV has some unbearable programs like Jersey Shore, Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant. Great thing for the younger generations to watch. Whatever happened to music videos?  Is Jackass still on the air? Another MTV brainchild. I do not watch these shows or these networks. I have based my judgment solely from their program promos and the nonsense that people tell me who do watch this tripe. The top four non-cable networks (ABC, CBS, NBC and Fox) have several of their own mind-numbing offerings. There's CBS' Survivor that gets credited for being the first of this reality crap, where Americans fight off starvation in the wilderness and each other while the camera crew feasts off-camera and Big Brother, where people cohabitate together in a challenge to not murder each other and be the last person standing as they backstab each other before a world audience. ABC offers an adult version of their own Dating Game with Bachelor in Paradise, The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. There's plenty that offer the pseudo game shows like Hell's Kitchens and So You Think You Can Dance (Fox), Chopped and Worst Cooks in America (Food Network), Face Off (SyFy), America's Top Model (CW), America's Got Talent (NBC) and the like. I have no problem with most of the game show-type programs because you are viewing athletes, artists and people creating culinary or visual art. But the others?!?! What I can't stand is a program's focus on stupidity. Which those other shows exemplify intentionally. Feigned drama. These shows are supposedly unscripted. Buuuuull-Shit! A show without structure would be chaotic and unwatchable. Reality TV is as fake as Kim Kardashian's boobs. 


You know the one. Kanye's girl. The one that can't keep a man for long. (I don't know if they're fake. I was looking for something funny and outrageous to drop here. I don't like the Kardashians. I think they are talentless and mostly fat, but they do have an amazing array of boobage.)

This weekend with a lot of downtime and taking a break from reading the third book, A Storm of Swords, in the "A Song of Ice and Fire" series by George R. R. Martin, I was watching Investigative Discovery.  A popular network that brings interesting and informative programs that deal with the baser side of humanity. So popular a network that South Park parodied them in their Informative Murder Porn episode. Nothing indicates that you've made it more than a SP parody. I watch several programs on ID.  Though the acting (reenactments) are poor and very cheesy and mostly produced in Australia, the crime stories and their outcomes are riveting.  Because they tell the story and give details you can't read in the papers, I tolerate the commentaries and bad acting. Shows like Deadly Women, Wicked Attraction, Dateline on ID, True Crime with Aphrodite Jones and On the Case with Paula Zahn merit watching. Most of the time you learn something as well as being entertained. However, shows like Deadly Devotion, Scorned: Love Kills, Deadly Affairs, 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover, Poisoned Passions and Sins & Secrets sensationalize the seedy side of life and love betrayals as well as murder and mayhem. It's one step below a daytime soap and one step above soft core porn. A few of the really cheesier programs that fall somewhere between these two categories are Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?, Wives With Knives, Pretty Bad Girls and Karma's a B*tch to name a few.

This weekend sort of tore it for me. They have this new program, Worst Thing I Ever Did. It is pure bullshit. Two programs were aired back to back. My girlfriend had control of the remote at the time. I was trapped into watching this drivel. (I would have rather wrestled with her on the floor, but the dog would not have any part of that. He's very protective of her. Goddamn dog! But I do love the growly bastard. He's much like me.) What irked me about this show wasn't that it was scripted (poorly), but that the actors were the actual people telling their stories. Click the show's title above to read the blurb about the show from their website.

This show like many of its vein exploits the pathetic lives and stupidity of people. The first story is about this body shop mechanic. He gets married. His wife squeezes out a few kids. Throughout this marriage he continued to pursue a bachelor's life. His wife catches him a few times and finally kicks him to the curb. They don't get divorced. He moves on with his life and gets involved with another women and fails to tell her that he's still married. They start planning their own marriage. (What a farking tool!) He finally confesses that he's still married. She breaks it off. (The relationship, but she probably should have broke of his dick too.) He comes back to her with what appears to be a divorce decree. She takes him back. They resume planning their wedding. Throughout the whole program the actual individuals are telling their story via commentary and reenacting (poorly) the events. Here's the part where my head figuratively explodes. He admits to her that the divorce paper is phony just weeks away from their wedding day. She still doesn't kick him to curb. What made me want to reach through the TV and throttle this lummox was when she asked him are you married still his answer was "I'm technically married".  Wha-wha-whaaat??? WTF???? You can't be technically married. You are either married or you are unmarried. There is no third choice or middle ground. You can't get married again, if you are still married legally to someone else. This is the kind of shit on TV that pisses me off to no end. All in all the very pretty, attractively built and apparently dumb young lady is willing to trust him (still?!?!) as he again claims that the divorce is in the works. I just don't understand farking people. 

The second helping of this visually and mentally torturous delicacy dealt with an older woman who just couldn't cope with the trauma and drama of her only married daughter's inability to get pregnant after her miscarriage. She turns to the casino and gambles away $40,000 of her and her husband's life savings. The savings that was going to allow him to retire a few years early. It doesn't appear this asshole bitch has a job, but she was the one that was left in charge of their finances. He claims she was a bit controlling. To borrow a statement my sister uses, "For futz sake".  Man-up!!! You don't send an idiot in to do a genius' job. The point I want to make is not the story as much as what she says to him when she decides to confess to her addiction. Yes.  Freaking disgusting. She called it an addiction. It's more like a dysfunction like drugs and alcohol, but go ahead whatever helps you sleep at night. She precursors the confession with "I've got to tell you something but you've got to promise not to get mad." Well, what a fracking farked up statement to make. Again, I wanted to reach through the screen and punch her dead in her face. Anyone with a stable mind is going to expect the worse. And most likely has already lit the fuse to their bitch-slap bomb. (I know for me I can go from calm to berserk in 0.2 seconds.) She might've said, "Honey, I'm boinking the gardener." Or, "Dear, I ran the Bentley into a telephone pole." Or, "I let the Jehovah's Witness into the house. And they won't leave." All of these are not too severe and quite laughable compared to "I gambled away your life savings." You can't start off a conversation with "Don't get mad" because people are gong to do just that. It's like telling a bride, "Don't fart when you are standing at the altar." You've planted that seed. She's going to become gassy. It's inevitable. She's going to toot right at the "I do" part. All because you had to warn her. What blew my mind concerning this episode is that he didn't murder her on the spot. Bear in mind, this is a reenactment so his reaction they showed may not reflect how he actually reacted. The other thing that blew my mind was that he told her, "...so you made it so I won't be able to retire a year or two early". Whaaaaaaaaaa???? How much money do you make a year that you can save $40,000 in a year or two? I know no one who can do this.

There are several other episodes of which I will not watch because I refuse to support the airing of stupid people hanging out their dirty laundry on national TV. It sickens me to how low we have stooped for entertainment. Whatever happened to good ol' lady mud wrestling? Now that was entertainment.

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