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30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 12 - 5 Blessings

Day 12: Name 5 blessings. Hah, piece of frosted flour and egg mixture.

Like most people I don't count my blessings because we don't live our lives with blinders on. We see something else and think I'm worthy of that. Why don't I have this or that? We get ourselves wrapped up in the rat race.  The race to have the most money, the biggest house, the most expensive car, the most exotic vacations and what's trending now. To quote a line from the failed 1972 sitcom, The Paul Lynde Show that starred Paul Lynde when asked how goes the rat race. His reply was the rats are winning.  So in time we all must take a beat and look into and around ourselves.  Take stock as the idiom dictates.  See what we really have. See who we really are.  One thing is certain.  We always have ourselves.  Therefore, this is going to be about me.

My 5 Blessings
 
1. Appearance - I look good.  I have seen and met people my age or younger that don't look as young or as good as I do.  I'm not blustering. I've been complimented and mistaken for a younger person.  I recently have been shopping around for an apartment. I stopped at a complex to inquire about apartments. The woman, who was younger than me, looked at me and commented, "You know you have to be at least 55 to live here". I'm 56.  Three years ago there was my school's Class of '76's 35th class reunion.  I did not attend.  I had nothing in common with them then and even less now. However, a group photo surfaced sent by an attendee to other absentees and from one of them to me.  (I hope no one got detention.)  The picture I saw looked like a group photo of a geriatric home.  Those people just did not age well.  I know most of them are grandparents, but really do you need to look the stereotype?

2. Age - I am where I want to be in life (age-wise) at this time in history.  I never had any romantic notions to live during medieval times, the Renaissance or the Roaring 20s. I don't want to live in the future during the zombie apocalypse. (Oh, it's going to happen.  All the signs are there.)  I once thought if I was born maybe five years earlier I could have experienced the whole Beatlemania thing more first hand, because five and six year olds don't usually attend Rock concerts.  Of course, I would have had a better chance of being sent to Vietnam and getting my ass shot off too.  If I was born five to ten years later I would have missed out on what was the wonder that was the Sixties.  Of course, I could have lived without Disco.  I think everyone could have lived without Disco.  Oh, well, a little rain must fall, especially if it's raining men. (Ewww, bad Disco song reference.)

3. Intelligence - I have a high IQ. An internet test told me so. Also, you just know these kind of things.  Stupid people don't know their stupid, because, well...they're stupid.  I know this because somewhere people are purchasing Ann Coulter's books.  Why?  Why??  I'm surrounded at work by mental midgets.  Sorry, I don't mean to be mean or malign short statured people.  Like an adept chess player, I can see five moves ahead.  Where my co-workers mentally take one step forward and then two steps back.  Mentally challenged persons make jokes about my co-workers.  That says something when lower IQ people are ranking on you.  I have the highest IQ in my family beating my youngest sister by 2 IQ points. (Truth be told.  I think it's the other way around but don't tell her I said so.  She'd never let me live it down.)

4. Humor - I know funny.  Most people think they have a sense of humor.  Most people are wrong.  Why else would these shows still be on the air:

Two and a Half Men (post Charlie Sheen)
2 Broke Girls
Mike & Molly
The Goldbergs
Modern Family
The Middle
The Millers
Bad Teachers
Wilfred
Girls
Extreme Weight Loss
Celebrity Wife Swap

What?  The last two aren't comedies?  Yikes!  Maybe someone at the networks has a sense of humor.

5. Modesty - I've been blessed with modesty. Knowing how great I am and having the civility to not be demonstrative or overly flourish and flaunt my attributes.  I'm a very giving person.  (I'd like to go to Hawai'i.)  Like this blog, I do it for you.  My public.  I try to impart to you some of the greatness that is me. (trip to Hawai'i). I'm here to make your uninteresting and mundane lives more fulfilling.  No need to thank me. (Hawai'i) I'm all too gracious and need no adoration, pomp, circumstance, circumcision or any gift you wish to shower me (trip to Hawai'i). I'm here for you. (Hawai'i) Hawai'i, Hawai'i, Hawai'i and thank you, Hawai'i.

Did I also mention I'm fucking brilliant?

Next on the chopping block: Day 13 - What excites me.


 

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