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30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 17 - The Old Age of Aquarius

Day 17 - "Are you true to your zodiac sign"  I am Aquarius.  See me Bear Water...and Water a Bear.

When I was young I had a fascination with the zodiac signs and horoscope and later with the Zodiac killer, but that's a different story for a different day.  I went as far as to buy literature and I don't mean just the crap in the newspapers and magazines.  Books to guide your life by your zodiac sign crap.  They saw a sucker coming.  Back then I was interested in the mystical side of life.  Today I'm more interested in how to use it to score with chicks.  The closest I have gotten was a box of Easter Peeps.  I went for a search online and found this.  Read carefully.  There may be some truth in the gobbledygook.  To read the whole schmegegge click the title for the link.



Let's get one thing straight from the start. The Aquarius man is no one's water boy (Yeah, baby, yeah), and it would be a mistake to assume so. A liberal and an independent, this man is intent on making the world a better place (for himself first and maybe for the rest of you), for all of mankind.  (Ha!)  This grandiose approach may seem a little overwhelming when you first meet the man, but he really is a genius when it comes to thoughts and new ideas. (This sounds so much like me.) (Daddy Tom Coyote, Super Genius!)

The Aquarius man is also inventive and original, churning out amazing and creative solutions, all meant to change the world or at least his little corner of it. Intellectual, humanitarian, and visionary, a typical Aquarian man is usually a little offbeat, with a touch of the mad scientist about him. (Oooooh, yeah!  A little crazy goes a long way.)  If you're prepared for his eccentric little habits, they'll grow on you, and soon you will find yourself helping out with his social experiments. (To paraphrase:  I'm great and everything I do is Golden.  Aaaaand...look into my eyes.  I will possess you!)

You can't fence in an Aquarius man – he values his liberty above all else. (How and why in Hell did I ever get married...twice?  Oh, yeah, Leo Women.  We'll talk about those bitches shortly.)  Give him freedom or give him death! For example, he is an Aquarius who loves travel (Arizona and Hawai'i), his preference will be treks to unusual, exotic, and out-of-the-way destinations (Stripper bars.  JK.  I'm intimidated by nearly naked strange women), not the humdrum European grand tours or cruise ship vacations that everyone else seems to like so much (Give me Disney or give me death). He is a trailblazer in every sense of the word, not a follower. (Which is why I've been lost most of my life.  I just won't ask for directions.)  Not all Aquarians love travel, however, but his conversational itinerary is unusual and creative. He is so well-versed in the ways of the world that you'd think he had been around. (One word folks:  Books.) 
Nothing about this man is conformist (Conform this!), from his wardrobe (Plaids and tartan do too go well together and underwear is optional when wearing a kilt.) to his career choices (I missed this life lesson that day.) to his lifestyle. (Won't touch this.)  Sometimes obstinate and stubborn, the Water Bearer is a fixed sign, and the Aquarius man will see through anything he starts to its bitter end.  (Yep!  That's me.  Bad relationships.  Bad jobs.  Too stubborn to quit.)

Popular and gregarious (Aw..Haw!!!), some Aquarius men seem to know everyone. (I try.)  However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that everyone understands him. (I tend to creep out young women.  I should get that salivation thing checked out.)  His feelings are often hidden and his reactions complex. (Hmmmm...)  The prodding questions and indecipherable actions are just part of a game of discovery to find out what his friends really think or feel about people and places. Play along, and take his antics with a grain of salt. His findings will be interesting, however. (I'm not so sure I like this author.  There's a little too much reveal of my M.O. and Game.)  Some Aquarians are more retiring, but they are usually quite intriguing and likeable in a distant kind of way. Some well-known Aquarius men are Bob Marley (Meh), John Travolta (OK), James Dean (Meh, before my time), and Phil Collins (Got to love the lovable troll).
 

Love, Sex, and Relationships with an Aquarius Man

(Oh, boy. Here we go.)

Love, like everything else, is a light-hearted game to the Aquarius man. He will approach relationships playfully, (Tag. You're it.) unleashing his flirty charm in small, calculated doses.
You won't often hear an Aquarius man say "I love you," (and really mean it) at least not in the traditional way or at the appropriate moment. (Never during sex.) His nonconformist nature will not let him express himself in the usual, conventional way. Flowers, chocolates, dinner and a movie – such normal dating gestures are anathema to him. (That means, I won't go for the cookie cutter way to a girl's Bobby Brooks.)  Instead, be prepared for cloud writing in the sky, surprise trips to a tea picking Indian village, and a cancer research center named in your honor. He's that kind of man. He loves deeply and sincerely, and would give his life for his other half in an instant. (Let's not get sentimental, now, ok?)  He just doesn't really buy into all the Hallmark sentimentality. (Hate Hallmark!!!!) While the more retiring types of Aquarians may not be as grandiose in their gift giving, their gifts will always be unconventional and totally unique in some way. (Like wrapping a bow on it?!?!?)

Ruled by Air, the way to the cerebral Aquarian's libido (Hoorah!!!) is through his mind. (E=MC Yowsa!)  Excite, enchant, and enthrall him with sexy little mind games and wait for the inferno of passion between the sheets that will come later.  (Boo-ya!!!)  Experimental and audacious, the more outgoing of Aquarius men are often the first to suggest joining the mile high club, or dare you to skinny dip with them on a moonlit night. (Been there.  Done that.  We laughed; we cried, it became part of the police report.)  Nothing is too provocative or challenging to him in the bedroom, or more often, out of it. (Woo-hoo! No one will ever eat a meal from kitchen ever again.)  The quieter types will nevertheless surprise you at every turn, once you've earned their trust. It can be difficult to get close to these types of Aquarian men, but once you do, you'll be glad you persisted.  (I know a few Aquarian men.  And we're not the quiet type.)

A will-o-wisp of a lover, it can be difficult to pin an Aquarius man down to commitment (NOOOOO!!!!), but once he's found the right woman, he is quite happy to give up being blown where the wind takes him (Wha...what?  What was that about being blown?), and settle down (like in a graveyard). The Aquarius man is attracted to intelligence, so his partner has to be someone who understands his grand designs for life and humanity. (Get on the bandwagon or get out of my life.)  He must be assured that his treasured independence isn't under threat; or else he will disappear like a gust of wind. (There's that blowy reference again.  I think this person has an agenda.) If he is already committed, he is not one to break free quickly, but signs of his discontent will be everywhere.  (I play the old passive-aggressive card often.)
Absolute reciprocal freedom works best for a partnership with an Aquarius man, which is not to say that every Aquarian seeks an open relationship. (NO clingers and NO Klingers too!)  The Water Bearer simply wants his own space and freedom of movement, and is quite happy to share a life together with a smart, self-reliant partner who supports his need for autonomy. (That's why we are in our 14th year of "Just Dating".)   He is generally considered most compatible with Libra, Gemini, Sagittarius, and Aries. (I once wrote a song called Gemini & Sagittarius.  It was awful.)  It doesn't mention Crapicorn.  maybe I shouldn't have been dating her for nearly 14 years.

The author goes on and on about Sun signs and Venus signs.  It's pretty much a yawn-fest.  And did you take notice that Leos were not included in the compatible signs list?  To take this one step further, Aquarian men are overwhelmingly attracted to Leo women.  However, Leo women are like kryptonite to them.  I refuse to be involved with any more Leos, but if you want to drop me an email or text or give me a call, feel free to talk me out of it.

Next: Day 18 - "30 Facts About Me"  Nice.  This should be fun and fictitious.

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