The title is a Beatles thing. You need to be a fan to understand.
Well, Dec25 is almost here. And again, I have no idea what to get the few who I do shop for. However, I get a real kick out of the stereotypes that online big box stores like Walmart suggest.
Adult Women:
- Perfume
- Jewelry
- Oversize Knit Sweater
- Instant Pot
- Another gaudy oversize sweater with giant hearts
- Another Instant Pot
- The Pioneer Woman 2-Piece Rectangular Ruffle Top Ceramic Bakeware Set
- A Blender
- Assorted beauty related hair doo-dads
- Air Fryer
Do you see what I'm driving at? These are travesties for gifts. I think I would be unattached if I gave thoughtless phoning-it-in type of gifts like these.
Would-be Walmart Christmas Slogans:
When you truly no longer care, give crap.
To show how much your love has really waned, an Instant Pot.
It's not much better for men.
Adult Men:
- A 44" Portable Basketball Hoop (for the guy who never exercises!)
- Apple Airpods with case (this may actually be a feasible gift for anyone.)
- Nintendo Switch Light
- Sony Playstation 4 DualShock 4 Controller in Magma Red (or was that MAGA Red?)
- 60 x 80 Sherpa Photo Blanket (No one...I mean, No MAN wants this...EVER!)
- Cricut Explore Air 2 Emerald Machine (I don't know what it is or what it's used for, nor care.)
- NBA Jam Arcade Machine w/ WiFi from Arcade1Up (A full-size video arcade game. WTF?)
- An 8-person tent (for the man who hates the outdoors.)
- Aerosmith Greatest Hits CD (Really???)
- And yes, of course, an Instant Pot...(they're really pushing the hell out of that thing.)
As you can clearly witness the stereotypes: For women, get to work in the kitchen and "make me pretty" gifts. For men, let's have fun and "be boys with toys" gifts. Someone really needs to work with Walmart and get them to update their mindset. So outdated and offensive.
I listed 20 gifts not by importance but how they appeared as I scanned down the lists. You would have thought they would have led with the big ticket eye popping items.
Now for my traditional soapbox speech:
Christmas is for the kiddies. Buy for the children because they can't buy whatever the hell they want because 99.9% don't have jobs or any income. Adults can buy whatever the hell they want after they pay the important stuff like mortgage/rent, car payment, insurance, food, the kids' school stuff, alimony, palimony and child support from your previous marriages...okay, maybe you don't have much leftover to buy that $400 NBA arcade game, but you really only need what you already have...a 65" LED TV. If you don't have that, well, who told you to get married and have all these damn kids?
The truth is Christmas is supposed to be about being Thankful for what you've got. Unless you have COVID, then you have little to be thankful for. If you lost someone to COVID because the government acted too slow or you refused to listen to Fauci's warnings, then you really are up Schitt's Creek. (You don't need a subscription to watch that now. I think Comedy Central is airing it on Friday nights.) So, save your money because from the looks of it there is probably not going to be another stimulus package before 2021 drags its ass onto the scene.
Give love to each other instead, as long as you haven't had too much togetherness over the last nine months. Crikey! That reminds me. How many of you are about ready to pop out yet another kid?
Well, I have no words of comfort. Still, have a happy and safe Christmas and a sober, stay at home New Year. Cheers! Until next time, TTFN.
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