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The Roadside Cemetery??

This blog may upset, annoy or piss off some readers.  This serves as a disclaimer.  If you don't like what you read here, Deal With It.  Don't fault me for my opinion.  It is more sound than the overly sentimental who leave go of common sense for grandiose sentiment and phony artistic expression.


Somewhere within the last 20 years, a strange phenomenon has sprung up along our highways.  Roadside memorials.  I don't get it.  What's the point?  What are people trying to demonstrate?  What message are they trying to get across?

About 25 years ago, my then sister-in-law with kids in tow were in a head-on collision with a young man for reasons unknown who drove over the double yellow line.  Luckily for them she was driving a SUV with the most updated safety features.  They survived.  She had undergone years of operations to correct complications from the accident.  Thankfully, she's alive and continues her teaching career.  The young man and his small compact car did not.  He was 18.  It was sad and senseless.  However, no roadside cross with Teddy bears were erected.  No flowers -plastic or real- were laid.  No marker was set-up.  As it shouldn't have been.  There's no need for a constant reminder of the tragedy.  You live.  You die.  Your next of kin and friends grieve for you at a place of worship and/or at a proper cemetery.  Not at a roadside cornucopia of miscellaneous debris.

Someone some time ago thought it prudent to memorialize those fallen on the road.  Crosses, packages, stuffed toys, plaques, flowers and the like have been erected at sights across the country on super highways and roads where loved ones or acquaintances have passed.  At first you might see one occasionally, but now you can't go a mile before you are smacked in the face with one.

Some may think what's the big deal?

The big deal is this:

  1. It adds to the litter that already exists on our roadway.  In many cases it's trespassing on public and private lands.
  2. It's a distraction to other drivers.
  3. It's a constant reminder of a tragedy that most people need not relive.
  4. It's offensive to people who don't share your sentiments, especially overly religious ones. (I'm a firm Atheist.)
  5. and more than anything, it's just inappropriate.  That's why cemeteries were established with ornate gates and granite mausoleums and tombstones and such.
I drive US 95 to work every day.  I have for the last 7 years.  At the end of my exit, there's a sign about 6 feet tall by 3 feet wide.  On this sign is a picture of an infant girl.  For several years, it showed her name, birth date and the day she died along with her mother in an auto accident caused by a repeat offender drunk driver.  Sometime in the last few years, the sign changed.  Someone added another sign below the picture.  The statement was thanking people in general for 10 years of prayers.  Ten years.  It's probably been closer to 12 years now.  For Chrissake, no one remembers the child's name.  Take down the sign.  Move on with your lives.  The little girl would have been a teenager by now.  What are we waiting for?  The child's 40th birthday anniversary?  If you want to honor the child, name a playground after her in a school yard.  Have an annual memorial 5k run.  Do something other than depressing people every morning who are just trying to get to their fucking job.

Let me put it this way.

In the last 100 years, auto accidents that resulted in deaths have averaged about 30,000 deaths per year nationwide.  In 2010, there were an estimated 5,419,000 crashes, killing 32,885.  In 2011, there were 32,367 deaths, which was the lowest...LOWEST...in 62 years.  1972 was the worse year on record with 54,589 deaths.  Let's do a little math.  Since 1900, there have been 3,551,306 motor vehicle deaths in the USA.  In the 20 year period from 1992 to 2012 the total deaths have been 840,210.  There is 4,050,771 miles of US roadway.  This translates to about one death every 5 miles for the last 20 years.  Now let's add a memorial to each of these sites.  Now let's expand that insanity to the last 100 years, because we haven't identified when enough is enough.  That puts our memorials posted at just about 1 every mile.  Let's establish a touch of reality.  We know that some roads tend to be problematic.  A traffic accident magnet per se.  But if you get what I'm a driving at, pun intended, there would be a lot of crosses, stuffed animals, flowers, etc. littering the landscape along main highways and local roads.  I pass several every day on my way to work.

Who maintains these roadside cemeteries?  The answer is no one.  Eventually, people move on, but no one comes back to clean up the mess.  It stays until nature takes it course.  

This briefly covers points 1 and 3.  Now let's address point #2.  Having a roadside memorial causes drivers to avert their eyes from the road to investigate and contemplate the memorial.  I know.  I have been stupid enough to do it.  You can't help it.  You see a bevy of paraphernalia, signage, etc.  You have to look. It's a basic human reaction. This could easily cause other accidents and possible fatalities.  I have seen this several times when there's an auto accident on 95.  Traffic slows to a crawl because rubberneckers need to see what's going on.  It's been documented on the TV news all too often how multi-car accidents occurred because drivers were gawky at another traffic accident and not watching the traffic around them.  Do they really need to see twisted metal and possibly death?  Focus on your drive and arrive alive.  But this marks my point that there are enough distractions on the highway already.  Why add more?

Suppose you have a home or a business on a main road.  Main city and town roads have traffic accidents possibly more than major highways.  And now memorials are popping up in front of your restaurant, small sundries store, your all male revue pleasure palace, whatever.  This shows a complete lack of respect for the property owners.

There is a corner on a main thoroughfare in Philadelphia, Byberry and Worthington Roads.  About 2 years ago there must have been an auto accident where a young teenage woman died.  I assume this because I did not stop and investigate the memorial or go online to "Sherlock Holmes" the incident.  I only viewed peripherally as I drove by.  The memorial sprouted up on a nearby pole.  This memorial grew slowly.  First it was a few items, a picture of the teen, lots of cards, bears, flowers and even a candle.  After a few weeks, the memorial grew so big that it was spilling out onto Byberry.  The point I want to stress is this monstrous memorial was in front of somebody's very nicely kept and probably pricey home.  There were the home's hedges, the front lawn, the sidewalk, then the pole and Byberry.  I can't say for sure if you could see the memorial from the home, but I'm sure the residents knew it was there.  After what to me seemed like a millennium, the pole was taken down.  Removed, not replaced.  I don't know if that was the exact spot and if the pole was involved in the travesty, but there came and after several months the memorial went.  I'm sure the homeowners breathed a sigh of relief to have the blight removed from their frontage.  

Presently, I pass a memorial that resides on a tree outside a Chiropractic office on Grant Avenue and Krewstown Road.  The tree is to the right of the motorcyclist on the Google Maps link.  This picture was taken long before the memorial arrived.  This memorial has become a blight.  The flowers (plastic) are sun-bleached.  The teddy bear looks like a polar bear, also sun-bleached.  It's disgusting to look at it.  If the Chiropractor removed it, he might be viewed as a bad person.  "Oh, that heartless, uncaring bastard!"  He hasn't yet.  The people who erected it have not taken care of it.  I know life is not fair and very much sucks for most of us.  But why thrust upon an absolute stranger your misery?  It needs to go.  It's not just my opinion.  Common courtesy dictates it.  You just don't infringe on other people's liberty or pursuit of happiness and commerce.  I believe this covers my last point and reaffirms my first point.  Just don't damn do it.

When does it end?  Where do we draw the line?  Do we extend this to people who just die?  Should we erect memorials outside hospitals, hospices or hotels for people who moved on to the next adventure from there?  Millions of memorials everywhere.  Close the cemeteries.  Let's just put people in hermetically sealed boxes and stand them up everywhere.  

I know I'm going from the sublime to the absolute asinine, but the point I'm laying down here is this.  We have come thousands of years.  Have landed on the moon.  Been to the bottoms of the oceans.  Have created buildings that reach up into cloud cover.  We have built places to honor, respect, mourn and remember those that passed before us.  We do not need to extend that to the roads, highways and on public and private property.


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