It has happened again. I switched on the TV News this evening. I'm smacked in the face with the story and visual of an abandoned new born human on a church's steps. Why? What is wrong with people? This sparked a thought and a plan. (Note: This is not the abandoned child. But he is cute if you are into that sort of thing. I wonder if I can get that in an XL Adult size.)
I have the solution. Because the male human species is unreliable, reckless, careless, ill prepared and abstinence isn't in anyone's vocabulary these days, the female human species must bear the burden. All menstruating human females must be inoculated with a birth control vaccine. (That means teens too. Especially teens.) And only when they truly want to have children (not by accident, not a power play to get a man to marry her, or an attempt to obtain additional welfare payments) should they be vaccinated with the antidote.
Sounds drastic? It is. And I don't want the government involved. They would totally frank this up just like they do with every other health and welfare issue. An elected board of elders would administer this program. A group who really doesn't want to hear more screaming little brats running rampant in the streets. Which translates to mostly people like me. Curmudgeons.
My point is people can not be trusted to do the right thing on their own. You spent the two minutes (I'm being kind) and 40 weeks making that baby. You should want to keep and nurture that tiny human. With this program, we'd eliminate unwanted children. There would be no need for abortions. No unwanted child would be left to die in a dumpster or on the steps of a clinic. Unwanted children sometimes grow up to be Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, Henry Lee Lucas or Dean Corll. Google them if you don't know their stories. They were a barrel of laughs and unwanted children all by their parents.
You should have to prove that you really want a child. We make people study (put in the time) 13 years to receive a diploma; 4 years to obtain a Bachelor's degree; another 2 to 4 years for an MBA or Master's degree; another 2 to 4 years for a Ph.D and at least 4 years and an internship to be called Doctor (Medical). Why then do we not test and prove people worthy of bringing another human into this world? Have them take courses, pass some written tests, pass physical and psychological tests. Jump through hoops of fire. Prove a feat of strength. Something that would prove that they're willing to go the extra mile. To be, all in. (Poker term)
Why don't we enact this process? Religion. Religion is to blame for some of it. Many faiths use populating the world with progeny to increase their number of believers. The more children; the more people to pass down their dogma. Sort of what the radical Muslims in ISIS are doing but they have chosen brainwashed martyrs, guns and bombs as their method of conversion. Follow us or die!!! They just don't get it. The other reason is people would not stand for it. Even today, 42 years after Rowe v. Wade, people are on opposite sides and still fight the fight. People will do whatever they want to do to their bodies. (Side note: Wade was a dick and this case was his first courtroom loss. In the philosophical words of Nelson Muntz, "Ha-Ha!!!")
People feel they have the right to decide whatever they want when it comes to their bodies. To a point, this is true. They SHOULD have full control of their bodies. However, what happens when you are not responsible with your body? You go to jail, or a medical institution, or the graveyard. Or you do heinous acts like dump unwanted infants in place where unwanted infants should not be left.
Someone who has nothing to do and can't find a job because they're too old, washed up and are perceived to be useless should step up and decide who should make babies. Not to say, you can't boink your boots off. Go ahead. Go nuts. Just don't score a goal.
This brings me to my final point. With this program, there would be no abandoned baby stories on Thanksgiving Eve, or Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve. There would be no crack babies born in alleys, secret backrooms or hospitals. There would be no need for abortion clinics and lastly...There would be no need for a Pro-Life activist calling me at 2:30 p.m. on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving looking for a financial donation for her cause. And I wouldn't have to tell her I'm Pro-Choice. And then have her try to make me feel bad or guilty by using a huffy, disgusted tone in her voice to wish me a good day. She just didn't sound sincere. (Ultimately, you know this was all about me, didn't you?)
But I am sincere when I wish a...
Happy Thanksgiving to all my Constant Readers and their loved ones. (I stole the "Constant Reader" thing from Stephen King.)
Next time, I'm going off on Jenner.
I have the solution. Because the male human species is unreliable, reckless, careless, ill prepared and abstinence isn't in anyone's vocabulary these days, the female human species must bear the burden. All menstruating human females must be inoculated with a birth control vaccine. (That means teens too. Especially teens.) And only when they truly want to have children (not by accident, not a power play to get a man to marry her, or an attempt to obtain additional welfare payments) should they be vaccinated with the antidote.
Sounds drastic? It is. And I don't want the government involved. They would totally frank this up just like they do with every other health and welfare issue. An elected board of elders would administer this program. A group who really doesn't want to hear more screaming little brats running rampant in the streets. Which translates to mostly people like me. Curmudgeons.
My point is people can not be trusted to do the right thing on their own. You spent the two minutes (I'm being kind) and 40 weeks making that baby. You should want to keep and nurture that tiny human. With this program, we'd eliminate unwanted children. There would be no need for abortions. No unwanted child would be left to die in a dumpster or on the steps of a clinic. Unwanted children sometimes grow up to be Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, Henry Lee Lucas or Dean Corll. Google them if you don't know their stories. They were a barrel of laughs and unwanted children all by their parents.
You should have to prove that you really want a child. We make people study (put in the time) 13 years to receive a diploma; 4 years to obtain a Bachelor's degree; another 2 to 4 years for an MBA or Master's degree; another 2 to 4 years for a Ph.D and at least 4 years and an internship to be called Doctor (Medical). Why then do we not test and prove people worthy of bringing another human into this world? Have them take courses, pass some written tests, pass physical and psychological tests. Jump through hoops of fire. Prove a feat of strength. Something that would prove that they're willing to go the extra mile. To be, all in. (Poker term)
Why don't we enact this process? Religion. Religion is to blame for some of it. Many faiths use populating the world with progeny to increase their number of believers. The more children; the more people to pass down their dogma. Sort of what the radical Muslims in ISIS are doing but they have chosen brainwashed martyrs, guns and bombs as their method of conversion. Follow us or die!!! They just don't get it. The other reason is people would not stand for it. Even today, 42 years after Rowe v. Wade, people are on opposite sides and still fight the fight. People will do whatever they want to do to their bodies. (Side note: Wade was a dick and this case was his first courtroom loss. In the philosophical words of Nelson Muntz, "Ha-Ha!!!")
People feel they have the right to decide whatever they want when it comes to their bodies. To a point, this is true. They SHOULD have full control of their bodies. However, what happens when you are not responsible with your body? You go to jail, or a medical institution, or the graveyard. Or you do heinous acts like dump unwanted infants in place where unwanted infants should not be left.
Someone who has nothing to do and can't find a job because they're too old, washed up and are perceived to be useless should step up and decide who should make babies. Not to say, you can't boink your boots off. Go ahead. Go nuts. Just don't score a goal.
This brings me to my final point. With this program, there would be no abandoned baby stories on Thanksgiving Eve, or Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve. There would be no crack babies born in alleys, secret backrooms or hospitals. There would be no need for abortion clinics and lastly...There would be no need for a Pro-Life activist calling me at 2:30 p.m. on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving looking for a financial donation for her cause. And I wouldn't have to tell her I'm Pro-Choice. And then have her try to make me feel bad or guilty by using a huffy, disgusted tone in her voice to wish me a good day. She just didn't sound sincere. (Ultimately, you know this was all about me, didn't you?)
But I am sincere when I wish a...
Happy Thanksgiving to all my Constant Readers and their loved ones. (I stole the "Constant Reader" thing from Stephen King.)
Next time, I'm going off on Jenner.
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