There's this new Documentary on Netflix, "Tiger King" that seems to be the much watch program this month. I have only seen the first episode. When I get a little more free time, I'll watch more. I will reserve my opinion of the show or characters, because they are a bunch of "characters," until I'm all caught up. However, I do have an opinion on their livelihood. I don't like it. No, no, no, no, no, goddammit, no! Not one freaking bit. I don't like fahken zoos. Never have. Never will.
As a child, I went to the Bronx Zoo, the Philadelphia Zoo and some small zoo of which I can't remember the name in New Jersey. Being a child, I had no knowledge of what it was all about. Really! I saw animals. I was wowed like all the other kiddies. Now, as an adult, I'm appalled.
First, let's get some things straight. Lions and Tigers are not indigenous to North America. Neither are African Elephants or Indian Elephants. They're from Africa and India. That's why the continent or country is in their names. They don't belong in zoos in the United States. Nor do Emus (Australia) or any other exotic bird or animal that hasn't flown or traversed the terrain here on their own wings or two or four legs. Actually, even the birds and animals indigenous to the USA should not be caged. If you want to see them, get your arse out into nature. Or look at a picture book. There are a great many nature photographers that have published.
I saw some nature program some time back. Not even sure what network. Not even sure why I was watching it. Maybe for some blood lust or in the hopes to watch Big Cats mate. It might have been BBC America. There was a lion laying about while his three, yes, three lioness in his pride stalked, brought down, killed and supplied the King of the Jungle the first bite for his dinner, a Gazelle. Can you imagine that shite? He did have to monitor the cubs while the ladies were out. But he's got the life. They bring him his meals. He boinks which ever one he wants when they're in heat, I guess. Can you imagine having that? Now I understand why they refer to it as a Pride of Lions. I'd be very proud of that accomplishment too .
What the fahk am I saying? This is something out of a Mormon or Church of Latter Day Saints Sister Wives TV show nightmare. First, three wives?! If their menses were not all synced up, every day could be a battle, a beginning and/or ending of a deadly nightmare existence for the husband. At least, when their menses are in sync, you could always go home and stay with your Mom for a week. Unless, your Dad also has Sister Wives and their menses were all synced up in the same week as your wives, then both your Dad and yourself are fuct. No, no, no, no, no, goddammit, no!!
This fascination of capturing wildlife and penning it in cages baffles me. People will say, "But what about the children? Their education. They need to see these animals to understand them." No, they don't. They can see them as much as I did on Sundays watching Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. Never liked that fahken program either. But when you grew up in a time with 4 or 5 channels on a Black and White TV, you watched what you could. Today, kids can see the real deal in High Def and might even catch the armed forces chasing down poachers, the scourge of the Serengeti. And see some real street justice. Boo-yah!!!
No matter what zoos do, you can't domesticate these animals or make them docile enough where they won't be dangerous. How many times have we seen on the News about some kid falling into a lion's den or a gorilla's habitat. Zoos are unsafe. Wild animals are unpredictable. People get hurt and sometimes die. Zoo personnel have lost limbs and have died caring for these beasts. Just ask Kelci Saffery from the Tiger King mini-series. She lost her left hand to a Tiger. Her nickname is Saff. I'm sure it's not pronounced Safe, because she sure as hell wasn't.
The Monkey House is a travesty. Did you ever inquire why there's Plexiglas in front of the monkey cage? I'll tell you why. The little monsters will bite, spit, pee, poop in their hands and fling it as well as reach between their legs and wank off shooting a stream of spluge at you and all over that Plexiglas. This is where Plexiglas definitely earns its name and reputation as a splash guard. Furthermore, try to explain to a class of second graders what are the monkeys doing and what's that goopy, slimy stuff running down the plastic? Not to mention, if by chance, a female is in the bunch and goes in heat. Well, game over! Try to explain THAT to a non-pubescent child without them having nightmares for the rest of their childhood. And this act will only incent Teens to activities you don't want them to engage in, just yet. And what about the poor bastard who really thought working at a zoo was going to be fun and humane when he discovered he had to clean the monkey cages? Have you ever seen Planet of the Apes? Any of them? Originals or reboots? Spoiler Alert: It doesn't fair well for the humans.
And I can't emphasize it enough, monkeys are indigenous to Africa and Asia (Old World Monkeys) and Central and South America (New World Monkeys), but no North American breeds.
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| Sam, a rhesus macaque (NASA employee) |
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| Common (ugly) Squirrel Monkey |
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| Wild Toque Macaque from Sri Lanka |
Yes, some of them are cute to look at.
Yes, they have been used as service animals for the disabled. I'd rather have a dog.
Yes, they've been to space something that an Elephant could never boast about.
Yes, some of them are much smarter than people I know.
Yes, there are people I've seen that are simian adjacent and smell as bad as monkeys.
I've an idea: Let's put them in cages instead. Most of them are already and many more should be.
Some parts of the World (South Asia, Africa and China) eat them as a delicacy (brains). Haven't we learned from the current Coronavirus pandemic about eating animals that we shouldn't be eating? The little bastards should be left alone in the wild. There are enough predators out there that will take care of the potential of overpopulation.
The same goes for the Lions, Tigers, Gazelles (Asia and Africa) and the like. There is a natural order. A zoo is an unnatural order. People say golf courses are a waste of land. As a former golfer, too old and injured to walk a course or swing a club, I could agree and disagree. But zoo space could be used better as a playground or a green area park. And the fahken smells that emanate from there. I would not want to live in a neighborhood downwind of a zoo. Might as well move next door to the City Dump. The only way a zoo can replicate a Lion's natural habitat would be to release a live animal in their enclosure and let her hunt the way they were meant to. Of course, again, years of kiddie nightmares and therapy.
I thought of listing animals in the Philadelphia Zoo not indigenous to the North American continent. As I researched, I came to a conclusion. If I were to list them all, I would turn this post into the size that equals the size of War and Peace. Pass! What I will do instead is point out what animals are from North America (some of them) and also should not be put in zoos.
Indigenous mammals include the American bison, eastern cottontail, black-tailed jackrabbit, plains coyote, black-tailed prairie dog, muskrat, opossum, raccoon, prairie chicken, wild turkey, white-tailed deer, swift foxes, pronghorn antelope, the Franklin's ground squirrel and several other species of ground squirrels. [Wikipedia] To name a few. Other animals include the mountain lion, much different from an African Lion, jaguars, ocelots, all kinds of amphibians and birds, too many to name here, skunks, and all sorts of bears. I'm sure I've missed a lot. There are many more most of which you may or may not see in a zoo that belong in their natural habitat until some construction or drilling company blessed by Donald Trump appears to frack for oil and disturb their homes. But we do have bears that don't belong here too.
Koala (Australia) and Panda Bears (China) were brought here from their homelands. Goodwill? Someone needed the money? White man needed to own another exotic animal? The Pandas were an exchange. China gave us Pandas; we gave China all our manufacturing jobs. Okay. I'm just being snarky. But Pandas don't belong in a zoo habitat in Washington, D.C. either.
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| Tai Shan, a giant panda, who resides at the Smithsonian National Zoological Park, Washington, D. C. |
Let's talk about the delicious animals. This is where I lose the PETA people. Chickens and pigs are not originally from the North America, mostly from Asia, where they were brought throughout Europe, Africa and parts beyond. Natural migration may have occurred, but I doubt it. Something as tasty as Chicken Mei Fun could easily have everyone clambering for importing chickens. But you shouldn't see chickens or pigs in a zoo; you should only see them on your dinner plate. I know. That was a cheap shot. Sorry, PETA. Is seafood okay? I like fish, mussels, shrimps and lobsters. As chickens and pigs natural habitat is worldwide, the only thing to conquer is how they're raised and stored.
Chickens should be free-range. Even the egg layers. A caged chicken fed hormones is an abomination to nature. Chickens in a tiny cage is an unnatural state. It's like putting them in a prison cell without them ever committing a crime. The same as for pigs. Pigs will eat anything. And I mean, ANY-THING! The Head of the Chinese clan in Deadwood in the HBO TV program, Deadwood, fed their pigs a whole lot of DBs. That's police terminology for Dead Bodies. If art imitates life, no one would ever eat pork. But Oh! the Baby Back Ribs, Sausage, Bacon, Ham, Pork Loin, I'll stop here. You get the picture. It just tastes so damn good. But they should be treated well and fed proper diets. I mean we're going to be putting that in our bodies someday. It should at least be better for us. They always show pigs in mud-filled sties. Is that really the best way to raise pork? Here's a nice 12 minute long YouTube video to explain how one homesteader does it.
There's this family in Phoenix, Arizona that gave up the city life to have their own family farm in an attempt to eat better and healthier. Here's their YouTube channel: Weed 'em & Reap. There are lots of videos.
I think I've said a mouthful for now. And I'm getting hungry. I look forward to giving my opinion on Tiger King. I have a suspicion that I feel they all should go to prison. Until next time, TTFN.
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