30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 20 - "My 3 Celebrity Crushes"

We are two-thirds of the way through this challenge and they've given us a head-scratcher. 

 

Day 20: "Post about three celebrity crushes"

My 3 Celebrity Crushes?  The odd thing is I've had so many over the years.  None of them lasting.  Should I give a nod to my teenage crushes?  Should I revel about my crushes from my 20s and 30s?  The issue there is these women are now old and lost most of their luster.  Also, people might think, this guy's taste in women is shtako.  However, once upon a time they were hot and fine to me.  That's not saying people still wouldn't think my selections are subpar.  In my defense, I don't follow the norms.  I could choose women that are currently trending today, but that could just be plain creepy because I'm old enough to be their father...or creepy uncle, at best.  Yes.  Creepy Uncle Tom.  That uncle you invite to family functions begrudgingly because you have to.  The same uncle who hugs the nieces a liiiiiittle too long.  You know the type.  Everyone has one in their family.  I'm not that guy.  I don't like physical contact that much. 

Here's a list someone compiled of the most beautiful women from the 1950s - 1980s.  Of the 20, maybe a third would have ever showed up on my list even if I was of age during their heydays.  Princess Diana, definitely.  Maybe Marilyn Monroe.  The others are maybes, mehs and a few no ways.  I'll refrain from criticizing them.  Mainly because I'm not fit in any universe or realm to polish their stiletto heels and would have been grateful if they even looked my way.

I never had that poster of Farrah Fawcett with her nips poking through her swimsuit.  She was okay, but not in my top 10.  None of Charlie's Angels would have hit my list accept for maybe Kate Jackson.  I still wouldn't put her in my 3.  I can list women I found attractive and desirable.  But to pick 3?  That's like asking a hungry man to go to an all you can eat buffet and tell him to choose just one item.  That's cruel.  Besides that would require a touch of obsession.  (Wait for it...a sexist disparaging comment is forming.)  Obsessive fandom is for chicks or crazy idiot dudes with Mommy issues who can't get a real girlfriend.

I'll try to narrow the list down to the 3 ladies for which I would not kick them out of bed for snoring or farting.  Maybe.

First, the honorabale mention list:  (CUT) denote Creepy Uncle Tom material.  (i.e., Women under 30.)

Andrea Anders, Gillian Anderson (X-Files), Christina Applegate, Amada Bearse (Lesbian), Belinda Carlisle (The Go-Gos, very much made me goo-goo), Phoebe Cates, Jamie Leigh Curtis (her Halloween and Trading Places days, not the Activia yogurt commercials)
Ellen DeGeneres (pre outing when she was still a funny comedienne), Rebecca De Mornay (Risky Business), Portia de Rossi (I know, another Lesbian), Natalie Dormer (The Tudors and Game of Thrones), Carrie Fisher (Star Wars version), Jodi Foster (Lesbian, do you see a pattern forming?), Heather Graham, Daryl Hannah, Debbie Harry (Blondie), Goldie Hawn, Margaux Hemingway (before she killed herself.  Not so much since.), Margot Kidder (before she got old and went nuts),
Nicole Kidman, Mila Kunis, Diane Lane, Lucy Liu, Joan Jett (possible Lesbian), Jennifer Jason Leigh, Heather Locklear, Sarah McLachlin, Virginia Madsen, Demi Moore (pre-boob job and Bruce Willis), Gwyneth Paltrow, Molly Ringwald, Keri Russell, Meg Ryan, Winona Ryder, Brooke Shields (as an adult, not her teen days), Alicia Silverstone, Shawnee Smith, Mena Suvari, Uma Thurman, Jennifer Tilly, Marisa Tomei, Emma Watson (CUT), Jane Wiedlin (The Go-Gos, Bi-sexual.  I have a shot!) and Reese Witherspoon

This list is incomplete.  I'm sure I'm missing some.  I think I've hit the highlights though.

The ladies below are my 3 crushes as of today.  This could change in a week or a month from now.  Notice they're all (CUT) notated.  Why would I not pick someone under 30 years old?  The others may have been hot when they were young but not so much now.  Some of them may even be grandmothers...ewwww!!! 

This doesn't mean I would start stalking them or fly across country for a meet and greet...unless somebody else was paying.  It does mean that I may hover long enough on the TV channel to watch and fixate on them for a moment before I zip along on my regular daily channel surfing.  (It's a guy thing.)

 



Jenna Coleman (Doctor Who) (CUT)

 

Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting (CUT)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Emma Stone (CUT)

Why these 3?  They evoke some sort of Neanderthal chest beating reaction where I want to drag them by their hair back to my cave, figuratively.  Literal would get me a very long prison term and a daily ass kicking.  Also, they are soooooo pretty and spunky on the tube.   Uhng!  Daddy Tom like pretty things.  Spunky too.  What mean spunky? 

{Insert chest thumping here! And maybe an Ooga-Booga!} 

I refuse to give Bios.  That's way too obsessive.  I've supplied Wiki links instead.  I'm not here to educate, just entertain.

I find as I get older I've become emotionally more primitive.  I'm not looking for a love as much as a good snug-snug.  After I sell my house, (if I sell my house), I think I may take residence in the monkey house at the Philadelphia Zoo.  However, I may not be readily accepted by the current residents as they may find me not evolved enough.

Tomorrow, Day 21: 3 lesson my children should learn from me