Day 24: "Write about a lesson you’ve learned the hard way."
All my life's lessons were learned the hard way. We are not given an owner's manual at birth. Just like parents are not given a parenting guide the first day your child is in their total care. There's been enough books written about it. Somebody has made a ton of money and has probably laughed themselves to the point of wetting themselves. That doesn't mean any of it works. The one hard lesson I learned many years ago and continue to relearn daily.
All my life's lessons were learned the hard way. We are not given an owner's manual at birth. Just like parents are not given a parenting guide the first day your child is in their total care. There's been enough books written about it. Somebody has made a ton of money and has probably laughed themselves to the point of wetting themselves. That doesn't mean any of it works. The one hard lesson I learned many years ago and continue to relearn daily.
Truth and lies. It's all the same
Please don't misunderstand me. Being honest and truthful is admirable and righteously proper, but sometimes the truth should be more like "the truth". Here's what I mean. A friend asks if the outfit they're wearing is proper for a wedding, funeral, public hanging, whatever. You want to do right by them, but you also know that if you give them the truth, when they really want to hear "the truth" that you are going to be in deep shite. So the obvious reply is "Sure, you bet. You look like a princess." And not, "Are you farking kidding me? You look like a painted hooker en route to greet the boys of USS Iowa as they disembark." Most people don't want to be told what you really are thinking. They want to be given "lip service". Tell them what they want to hear.
When I was young I played that game. Avoid confrontation. Speak in low tones and respectfully. Be the best Yes-man you could be. Mainly, I was dealing with older men and some women and was trying to curry favor and move up in the corporate environment. The real lesson learned is that it is never what you know or how well you perform, but who you know and how loud you are and whose attention you gain from puckering up and smooching arse. I'm just not built for promotions.
Over the last half dozen years I gave some serious thought. Considering my age and that I've been passed over at work, at play, in life, I have broken the seal. The filter has been switched off. I no longer give a shit whether I offend people. If I think someone's work is subpar or they're personality has rubbed me like a piece of sandpaper on an open wound, I'm going to voice my opinion whether it has been solicited. Frank it people. I don't really have much to lose at this point. I can get another low waged job with unrealistic goals accompanied by bullheaded and inept co-workers and back alley business school ethics anywhere.
I was called into my manager's office via an email meeting invite. I crossed a line. It's not the best way to start the morning on the second day of an already hellish week. I was told that he received two complaints about me. I thought, Just two? I have the habit of ruffling feathers when I had no intention to do so. I mean when I want to ruffle feathers and get some metaphorical fur flying, I know the buttons to push. Do not frank with me if you don't want to feel the sharp edge of my snarky insult blade. I have had many years of honing that sucker. I digress.
I was told that I upset my co-worker (who I have railed about on a few occasions) when I yelled at her. This individual had finally got on my last nerve the day before after years of watching her make the same mistakes, forget how to do the simplest tasks and second guess what I'm thinking month after month, year after year, day in, day out. The bullshit meter finally read Full and I laid into her with tone, volume and I'm sure some unkind words that I don't recall. They weren't serious enough. Had they been that meeting would have taken place in HR. In which at that point I would have effed them all out and quit on the spot. That event I'm sure will be in the future. Could be tomorrow, who knows? (Also, I tend to think they still need me more than I need them. There's things I do and know that will take them months to figure out. And under the close scrutiny of our new alien overlords, they want to stay flying under that radar.)
Of the second complaint he had no details. I was not told who I offended. Well, that's just plain rude, Mr. or Ms. Anonymous Pain in the Ass. The gist of it was I had bad-mouthed someone. I'm sure it was about their ineptitude at doing their job. You see, I never attack a person unnecessarily based on their looks or personality. But in the work environment how you perform is what will either impress me or have me condemn you. Because this company was recently bought because the former management ran it into the ground, I tend to be boisterous and opinionated about the company and the wrong way direction they've taken and still take. I have as much invested in this company as anyone and feel I have the right, neigh, the duty to speak my mind. Mainly, I was never given the chance to steer the ship and I'm pissed about it. Again, I digress.
I was cautioned and confided to be careful what I say about whom where others can hear. I was reminded to be professional. Like what the furk does that mean? I've been in the workforce for 40 years. I have been yelled, screamed and barked at, belittled, cursed, one time told by a female Controller that shit flows downhill. This is the same Controller who dropped an F bomb in front of me. I had never heard a female swear like a sailor before. It was an education. I've known people to screw in the office after hours. I've seen people act the drunken fool at corporate functions (even with this company). Don't franking tell me to act professional. There is no watermark or litmus test for professionalism. One man's professionalism is another man's drunken brothel. Instead of educating this younger management professional, I sewed up my mouth and kept all that inside. I saved it for you, my blogging public. So savor it. I SAID, SAVOR IT!!!!
I did give my side of the story without knowing what was said by the offended parties. I explained the constant repetitiveness of this individual's ineptitude. After six year they've unlearned everything they ever learned and have picked up some very bad habits to boot. I have been retraining this individual daily ad nauseum. In not these exact words I explained how they take one step up and two steps back. Of the second charge, I explained my opinion which everyone has heard dozens of times except maybe the highest management tier and HR. A common theme among my peers is my opinion of the buffoonery that passed for our corporate management team. It's always hours of entertainment and fun speaking of how they wasted so much money and generated absolutely no profit.
After the meeting and I was walking back to my office, a thought came to me. The thing that left me with a taste in my mouth as if I just finished licking the hind end of a camel was I have no idea who my friends are in this company anymore. If I have to watch every little thing I say and do because someone is out to anal probe me, I may as well never acknowledge or converse with any employee ever again. This company takes being PC to the highest degree of someone with OCD. Like Monk, but not as funny and without the really cute nurse/assistants.
I suppose I can talk but just let them hear what they want to hear.
Yes, you are intelligent and have a valid opinion.
No, you don't look fat. Have another 12" greasy cheesesteak.
Don't worry! This company will last forever and you will always have a job here.
And now the final truth and honesty: I have got to get the fuck out of this company.
What's next: Day 25 - "inspiration through Google images".
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